Understanding Step Six

After we have done Step Five, we have faced our deepest secrets and shared them with another human being. Although we may feel relieved to have come this far, we aren’t cured. There is more work to be done. We have to take what we have learned about ourselves and make a plan for change.

When we decide to get sober, the one thing that we want most of all is to be able to stop drinking and drugging. In Step One, we admit we are powerless over our drug of choice and we realize how unmanageable our lives have become. From there we learn that we have to put our trust in a power greater than ourselves. Somehow we find the courage to face our past and admit the things we have done wrong.

But there is much more to recovery than that. In taking an inventory, we have come to recognize exactly what we have to work with at this point in time. We have learned about the character traits we have—both good and bad—that have brought us to where we are today. With this knowledge, it’s time to move forward.

Considering Our Character Defects

Learning how to stay away from a drink or a drug for one day at a time is a beginning, but if we really want to avoid returning to our old ways, there’s a lot more to think about. What are the aspects of our personalities that caused us to make bad choices in the first place? How can we let go of our character defects?

We have to realize that so much of what has gone wrong in our lives has happened not because we were victims, but because of choices we have made. It’s only in making different choices that we ultimately give ourselves a chance to end up in a better place. If we have been fearless and thorough in taking our inventories, we probably have a pretty good idea of where to begin.

Maybe we need to start being more responsible and show up for work every day. Maybe we need to think about being better role models for our children. Maybe we have to stop putting so much energy into being jealous of what other people have and work instead toward setting and reaching goals in our own lives. Maybe we need to tone down feelings of lust, greed or anger.

Are We Truly Ready to Change?

The ideal is to move toward perfection, but we know we won’t actually get there. It’s important not to use that as an excuse not to try. There is always room for improvement.

But are we really ready to let go of our shortcomings? For most of us, there are aspects of our character defects that we want to hang onto. Change is hard. Whether our defects are anger, lust, envy or pride, we have to admit that deep down we may not be ready to change some of the characteristics that got us into trouble in the first place. We hang on to what’s familiar, even when it’s causing difficulties in our lives.

We need to be honest with ourselves and the people we love. We need to strive for the willingness to do the right thing. In order to change, we have to admit that the things we have been doing up to now haven’t worked. When we have the willingness to change, a much better future is possible.

Trusting a Higher Power

Step Six states that we need to become entirely ready to have our character defects removed.

We have to recognize that the same power that gave us the strength to give up alcohol or drugs can help us give up anything else too, as long as we trust in the process

We have seen that willpower didn’t work to get past our addiction, but a power greater than ourselves has made it possible for us to get sober and stay sober. We trust in this power to remove our shortcomings.

Doing Step Six requires honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. We will never attain perfection, but we can continue to work toward improvement, starting today.